He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
