STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
