Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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