R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
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