so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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