based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
