We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
