Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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