i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
