I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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