watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize