a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
