My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Someone came in the potted fern
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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