Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
