I must be too annoying 4 u.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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