I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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