I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
