Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
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I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
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I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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