16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
