He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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