I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
