just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
