Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think my nap took me to another dimension
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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