my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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