I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
