Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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