We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
how drunk are you?
Several
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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