mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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