My cat gives me a boner
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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