I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
