im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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