We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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