I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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