lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
