I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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