No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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