DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
