There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
