you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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