He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
birth control should be required to get into college
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
