If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize