cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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