she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
