yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
