if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
