I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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