her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
