The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
