Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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