After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Randomize
