he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
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drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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