I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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