just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
