Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize