You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
