he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
