Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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